The roles of wives and wallpaper

Season 3, episode 3: We reflect on the roles of women following Janie bitterly expressing her frustration with Emma and Fred taking her to task for it, and we have a little look at the fashions in Victorian interiors. 
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Producer:
Ingrid Birchell Hughes

Transcript

[Intro]
Welcome back to My Love Letter Time Machine, Hi, I’m Ingrid Birchell Hughes, and I’m serialising the love letters of my great great Grandparents, Fred Shepherd and Janie Warburton. Travel 140 years back in time with me now where we take a look at Victorian history through their eyes and today Fred takes Janie to task about her harsh words regarding Emma, and Janie gives Fred interior decorating advice. 

[The roles of wives and wallpaper ]
Some much of the correspondence this week reflects that tension you often find in relationships where the aspects of what two people find attractive about each other can also be both a source of mutual connection and a point of tension. At the same time Fred and Janie are doing their best to grow and build a loving relationship within a wider abusive social structure where women are still their husband’s property  and are expected to behave in particular ways with little regard to their own emotional needs. Not that either of them would have seen it this way, but I found the following exchange quite hard to read as a modern woman. 

You may remember last time, after James had fallen ill, and Emma had used the situation as an excused to purloin some alcohol, that Janie had bitterly expressed her frustration, writing “I don't wonder at men murdering their wives, if they are anything like her, she would provoke the best man living”. I was a bit peturbed that Janie expressed herself like this, but as it turns out - so was Fred. While I share his dismay, I’m finding his reasoning hard to swallow:

FS 21 Church Street, Middlesbrough
April 23th 1882.

My own darling Wife
I received your kind and loving letter yesterday and will very graciously forgive you for not writing on Thursday love. I thought you must've been prevented by something, or else you would've written I know.

I am sorry to hear that your father is so ill darling, I thought the warm weather was setting him up and giving him a new lease of life – I hope he will soon recover. But my darling you must not think and speak so bitterly of Emma, the best of all the graces is charity you know, and we all of us more or less stand in need of it. Besides I do not want you to acquire an acrimoniousness of temper or else my darling I am afraid that I shall suffer from it in after years, and I want my wife to have a sweet temper love, or else our domestic happiness may possibly be spoiled if she has not wifie.

She may have really been sorry love, and the tears “she squeezed” may have been real for we none of us really know what other peoples real feelings are, and it is the best way to take it that she was really sorry.

I do not think you would do much good love, by talking to her; I have tried it at home and never found that it was of the least use. Besides as you say, it would be sure to be overheard and then the mischief would be increased. You must not speak of men murdering their wives love, you quite horrified me. I did not think that you could imagine such a dreadful thing. You must not let such thoughts enter into your heart love, avoid them my darling or they will poison your mind. I agree with you that it is a scandal a shame for her to go on in the manner she does, but my darling it will not make any difference in my love for you, and I want my wife to be very charitable for I may stand in need of it not being faultless.

I hope you will forgive me love, for giving you a little sermon, but you know my darling that I only study your welfare in all things. I am sure I have tried to do so tho my conduct I'm afraid may have given you a different impression. If it has, forgive me wife, and be charitable to me.

I am glad that you are proud of your husband my darling, I am proud of my wife love and will see that she does not do as the servant girl did that had the new silk dress. I wish you could kiss me wife. I feel pleased that Polly thinks as much of me as ever, and is resigned to having me for a brother in law.

I am sorry that the scissors would not fit your case. Are they too small, or too large? I can perhaps get a pair to fit them if you let me have the size. 

I received your yesterdays letter this morning love and will forgive you again for not giving me a longer one I know you would do so if you could love.

I expected that Annie Wortley and Mr Glover would be married before then (next Christmas) I wish you had a friend over here that you could come to for a little while love, it will be much better than coming to a strangers no matter how kind they might be. 

With regard to the dinner service love, I think it better stay at our house at least until Whitsuntide. They will be able to store it away somewhere without much inconvenience I think. They might put it under the bed or somewhere out of the way.

I am sorry your father is not any better love, you must remember me to him. I sincerely hope he will soon recover.

I should think the walking [match] would be a great feat. They ought to have had it some other day from Saturday, and then you could have given me a longer letter for this morning. This one was evidently written under difficulties, and I think I ought to consider myself fortunate in having one even so long under the circumstances.

We shall my darling, as you say, have a glorious time to look back upon, and I am looking forward to quite as happy a time wifie but it does seem a shame that I cannot be with you now when I feel that I want you so much. But I must not repine darling. 

On Sundays though, I miss you so much. They are so dreadfully slow and today it has been raining all day and it is pouring now, I hope it will clear up a bit for post time or else I shall have to disappoint you, but is not really fit to turn out.

It will be bless love, to give and receive kisses every day. I shall never get tired of you darling. I know that you will try to keep my love, and I can assure that if you do, it will always be yours wifie.

You must remember me very kindly to carry love, I wish I could come over for a few days and then, we can make up a quartet which would be jolly wouldn't it.

We will leave the question of coming to Marstons until Whitsuntide love and then we can talk it over there will only be four Sundays after this love and then happiness.

I enjoyed the theatre a little of the other night, but they never have the good pieces that they do at Sheffield.

I went down to Redcar yesterday afternoon as I told you. I did not enjoy it much as it rained almost all the time and I got nearly went through. I had tea with Harrison, and then went to a rehearsal of a dramatic performance. I don't much care for our secretary’s new house I think he might have chosen a far better one. He wants me to choose the paper for the walls, I think this is rather a difficult matter seeing that I don't know what he likes. But it will be a fine experience for me won't it? What sort of paper do you think would do?

I should like to live at Redcar if we could manage it, the houses there are much cheaper than at Middlesbrough (post time) 
your loving true and faithful husband 
Fred.

Wow. It’s obvious from Fred’s attitude and, as we shall see, Janie’s subsequent capitulation, that the pair of them are completely tied into the ideal of a woman’s temperament being subservient to the needs of her husband. Fred’s understanding of Janie as a person being relative to him in her behaviour, rather than a person of her own self expression, is challenging to say the least. It’s not just Fred hoping for a life without strife but holding Janie to a standard that he believes that he will not be able to meet himself without her achieving it first! And at the same time, he understandably wants her to show some forgiveness towards Emma, because he wants to know that should he ever mess up, Janie has it within her to forgive him. As I said in the beginning, it is fascinating watching the pair of them try to create a loving relationship within the toxic patriarchal society in which they both live and probably cannot even percieve.  Janie doesn’t question Fred’s expectations at all, but I ache to hear the desperate tone in Janie’s next letter that she feels misunderstood and expresses a fear that Fred might withdraw his love:

Handsworth 
April 23rd 1882. 11.P.M.

My own darling husband
I should've written earlier in the day I had to go to see Mrs Falding, I promised last time I was there that I would trim the children two hats if she would send for me when she had got them and partly on my father's business. I came by the tram to Attercliffe and called to see them all at home your mother is better than she has been, all the rest are quite well your mother said I was to tell you she thought you had forgotten she still lived at Freedom Hill, they have been looking for a letter every morning.

Father is a little better today but is still very weak. Darling I am very sorry I spoke so bitterly of our Emma, but still I can't think she was so very sorry for when she was crying she was half tight and that she knows is killing him. It grieves him to death to see her in that state, if you had seen him as I saw him love you could not [help?] feeling hard against her, he was crying like a child, Dr Shaw said he did [not?] know if he would last the night out  - he was so low, we had to give him brandy and keep poulticing him nearly all the night. I know darling that we all of us stand in need of charity and I will try to be more charitable towards her in future, but you know love what my father has done for her and then to go on in this way.

I do not want to acquire an acrimoniousness of temper and I will try to guard against it, for my darling I do not want you to suffer in that way in after years, I want to make you so happy darling or your life. I am sorry I thought such a dreadful thing love, I will not let such thoughts into my head I will avoid them. I don't think I did really mean[sp?] such a thing so do love me in spite of my uncharitableness for I do love you darling and I could not do without your love. You know love I think you are quite faultless and will not be in much need of your own wife charitableness but darling if you are I hope to be very charitable towards you my own husband. I quite forgive you for your little sermon. I know that you only study my own welfare in all things, your contact has not given me a different impression. I feel as if I would give all I have if I could only see you for a few minutes and just kiss you and you could say you forgive me for being so bitter, I love you so darling you don't know how I feel it when you have to give me a lecture, it was quite necessary though love and I love you not a little bit less.

Polly likes you love and she has always been resigned to having you for a brother in law. She thinks you are a sensible fellow and will make me happy she used to stick up for you even before she knew you. I mean at the first when mother used to be so queer. When she went there of course she used to tell Polly but she thought she was not fair to you and would not have anything said against you, of course I admire her very much for it, loving you a little bit myself, I wish she was going to be a little nearer to us darling don't you? It will be quite a treat to come over here and see all our old friends sometimes. It would be better love if I had some old friend over there but I haven't so we will make the best of the new, we will try to arrange something at Whitsuntide.

Tuesday 6—10 P.M.

My darling, 
Father is a good deal better today, I think with care he will get nicely better again. Mrs Falding asked about you yesterday she was wanting to know when the wedding would come off. I think I did not tell you when our Fred’s is going to be. Polly told me the other night that she thought it would be in a fortnight after Whitsuntide, on the Thursday. I went through the house when I was down there. It is a nice little house, but the people that lived there last, did put such nasty paint on, it will want painting although and two rooms papering.

It is rather a difficult job to choose for another, as you do not know what the new secretary’s would like, you will have to choose according to your own taste, I have seen a nice fashion for a dining room, it was papered about a third of the height of the room, with a dark paper and the top part with a very light one and a border between, it looked very well indeed and I think it would be very serviceable done in that way because the bottom part always gets dirty the soonest. The drawing room I think I should have very light also the bedrooms, I wish I was with you to help you darling I think we could manage it between us.

I have no objection love to living at Redcar if it can be managed, I am sure the sea air would do us good it would be quite a change for you when you came home, we must see what we can do about it, Oh Love it would be so nice, I believe I can smell the sea air now, we should seem as if we had got to Morecambe again if we did live there. I am sorry it rained so when you were there on Saturday I hope you did not take cold [crossed out?] your wetting you must take care of yourself darling for me you know.

Carrie has not come yet they have gone up to Miss Mottershed to tea so I don't think they will get here until nine or ten I wish you could come over for a few days we should make up a quartet and it would be nice.

I shall have to give up now mother wants to go to my father and I have to go and look after the bar.

I love you more than ever and I shall always be 
your loving true and faithful wife
Janie

P.S. write soon love


It’s fascinating to see the familiar Victorian interior design style of a two tone wall being offered up by Janie as a latest trend. The horizontal split between the light and the dark paper was picked out with a border or often placed above and below a chair rail - this was usually a wooden trimming placed roughly at chair back height. In the Georgian and early Victorian period, people didn’t arrange furniture in a room the way we do now. In a dining room for example the table would be stored against the wall with its leaves folded down and when not in use the chairs would be stored in a row along the wall. The chair rail was there to stop the chair bashing into the wall. The papers used below the wall were painted in dark hue, most commonly green, red or brown, 
and often embossed with a raised design, known as lincrusta developed in 1877 - a precursor to what became the almost ubiquitous Anaglypta towards the end of the 19th century. 

Papers for bedrooms would be chosen for their light and airy appearance, hand blocked florals, designed to look the handprinted silk wall coverings in grander houses, offering a much cheaper alternative to the the new aspirations and and upwardly mobile population. 

I’m starting to understand that Fred and Janie were very much part of this. Fred in his landing an important clerical role, knowing that if he put the graft in, it would be rewarded with promotion. 

It’s interesting how the pair of them plug each other’s gaps in knowledge. Fred is Janie’s intellectual (and apparently moral) educator in many ways, and even the very process of writing letters to him significantly improves her writing skills. And while Fred has an educational advantage, his home background means he would have been out of his depth with regard to fashions interior or otherwise. It’s most likely that his mother’s house would have just had the walls distempered in pale colours and Fred’s extracurricular interests were music, theatre and sport. Janie on the other hand appears to be on a visiting circuit, paying her family’s respects to her landlady and other significant people in her community, and she obviously takes in her surroundings not just with a creative interest.

Not only this but Janie also enjoys window shopping and has great interest in fashion, fabrics and art. She loved her women’s magazines and like many women, would have come across the many advertisements for new things on the market targeted specifically towards women who made most of the household choices. Working in a public house she would also have understood keenly about wear and tear, tempering her advice to Fred with an eye to practicality. 

I think Janie shares Fred’s aspirations, but while Fred more keenly wants better social standing and the opportunities that go with it, Janie wants the independence that comes with being the mistress of her own home and being able to make it not just nice for them, but beautiful, is evidently part of her creative self expression. Funny, I hadn’t expected a discussion about wallpaper to give me such in insight to her character.

Fred seems reassured by Janie’s advice, and he also seems to be feeling some regret for taking her to task…


The North Eastern Steel Co Limited
April 26th 1882 

My own darling wife
I was very pleased to receive your kind loving letter this morning love, for which I thank you very much. I am glad to hear that you called at our house darling, it is so pleasant for me to know that you are not neglecting them when I am away. 

I shall write home today if I can, I was waiting a letter from them as I have not had one since Easter. I am sincerely glad that your father is recovering darling, I do wish so much I could be with you to comfort you wifie.

My own darling, I felt rather sorry after I had sent the last letter to you, that I had given you a little lecture. I believe I feel it more than you do, because I do not like to do anything of that kind, and always feel that I am treading on delicate ground; for I should not like you and I to quarrel about every thing. It is very satisfactory my darling, to find that you really take it as it is meant, for you know that it is for our mutual good that I mentioned it.

I am glad that you forgive me for the little sermon love, although you may consider me thoughtless, I do not think I am, and so perhaps had no moral right to preach to you on that score.

I am pleased darling that you think of me so highly, I will try my little wife, to endeavour to act so that you may if possible retain your good opinion of my character. Of course I know love, you will be charitable to me, you always have been, for you love me. I love you my own darling, I feel sure more than ever - You are dear to me than ever. If you were perfect love, you would be too good for me, but as we are both very human and love each other so devotedly, I quite expect that our married life will be mutually happy.

I feel quite grateful to Polly that having defended me at the first love, and I wish with you that she was to be nearer to us. I am afraid you will feel leaving all your old friends darling very much, but I will try to comfort you and be all your old friends and relations rolled into one. Do you think you could do with the arrangement darling, it is the best I can think of at present we shall no doubt see them periodically, if possible.

I wish our wedding could come off at the same time as your Fred’s love, I want you so much. It is a pity that it was not at Christmas love, and then it would have satisfied people’s imagination.

I think I shall have satisfied ours Secretary with the papering. The way you mention is the thing in dining rooms. I think we shall have to have ours that way love, of course if it suits your Royal Highness’s pleasure.

When I was at Redcar last Saturday I enquired the price of houses. One suitable for us that is with five or six rooms are letting for 14 or £15 per year but then onto that would have to be reckoned £6 for Railway fare, which would bring it up to 20 or £21 per year. Besides the train gets to Middlesbrough at 9 o'clock in the morning, which would mean 20 past 9 when I got to the  Works. There is a train down at 20 to 1 for dinner leaving at 2.0 and then at night if I did not catch the 5.36 I should have to wait until 7.30 making it 8 when I should get to you.

After the time I daresay we might be able to manage it, but until the works get into a subtle way of working, I think we ought to live in Middlesbrough. You would not mind love, would you?

There are 2 houses to let in Church St one each side, both with bay windows, I should like to live somewhere about there, because it is the nearest to the Works.

I did not take cold love, on Saturday, at least I think not, but this week I have not been so well. I have had a pain in the back and round my body, but I think it is getting better.

You will remember me very kindly to Carry love.

I shall have to give up now as I am writing this at the office, and I am going to [dive?] Into the work to make up for the time I love you, my darling wife more than ever, 
and shall always be 
your loving true and faithful 
husband 
Fred

P.S. I have not much more to say except that this is the third consecutive day of cold meat, and that I do love you. This is rather mixed up isn't it? Only 31 days love and then!!! you know
 
We’ll leave it there for now. Next time Fred takes a trip on the Stockton Steamer, and The Cross Keys hosts a dinner for 75 people

Thank you so much for listening to My Love Letter Time Machine. 

 I’d very much like to share Fred and Janie’s story with more people, so If you haven’t already - can I ask to share this podcast with someone you think might enjoy it? You can also find excerpts of Fred and Janie’s letters on instagram at my love letter time machine all one word and you can write to me at my love letter time machine at gmail dot com.

Until next time, take care.
© Ingrid Birchell Hughes 2022